


Katolis

by ririsasy



Series: VIRROW [1]
Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Don't copy to another site, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, In Love, Jealousy, M/M, Missing Scene, Mutual Pining, Power Dynamics, kind of, mention of sarai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-09 07:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17997863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ririsasy/pseuds/ririsasy
Summary: For one splendid moment, Harrow imagined what it would be like to be inside of Viren in spirit and Viren inside of him. It would be enjoyable, thrilling by it even, to know how it felt when he breathed, the flowing of his blood in his veins, the contraction of his lungs. And beyond that, the softness of his heart and the intensity of his determination and the devotion. Harrow would be honored to live his life even for a moment inside of his friend. But he also could see Viren’s spirit, dying with a blade pierced through his chest inside of his own body, departed from this earth. He could see himself scream, holding that body tightly, wishing he hadn’t taken that offer and regretting his life.





	Katolis

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much [Lonespark_the_friendly_kraken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonespark_the_friendly_kraken/pseuds/Lonespark_the_friendly_kraken) for beta reading my work and giving input everywhere! without you, this fic would still be haunting my mind lol

Harrow looked down at his best friend kneeling in front of him. His heart hurt so bad he had the urge to clutch his chest, but he couldn’t show his weakness at a moment like this. He needed to be honest with his stubborn friend who went to unbelievable lengths to help him, to serve him as his king.

Viren said he was his friend, his brother even. A brother shouldn't do this, should never ask what he had coldly demanded of him, to die for him, Harrow didn’t deserve this level of devotion, not from his own friend; he was the one who should protect him always, not the other way around. Harrow would do anything for his people, for Katolis, and Viren is his people, his kingdom. 

Harrow knew all too well what Viren would do the moment he challenged him, asking him to make this trade. This sacrifice. He was terrified by the answer. Deep down he knew that Viren would but his hesitation, Harrow didn’t know what to call it, brought a moment of relief to him.

And of course, his stubborn friend would only take that time to say goodbye to his kids, wouldn’t waste the chance and opportunity to sacrifice himself for the kingdom cause, for him, his king.

When Harrow saw Viren stepping into his bedroom, carrying the basket with the serpent inside it, ready to lay his life for him, he knew he needed to think quickly to shut him down, to make him forget about his ridiculous sacrifice.

Didn’t he know that Harrow also would rather die than let him swap his place with him? Why couldn't he understand that? Harrow wouldn’t be able to live his life knowing he let the most important person in his life die for him.

Harrow remembered all the years Viren spent serving him in sickness and health, through prosperity and ill-fortune for the kingdom they both loved and served. It should have been him running back to save Viren a long time ago when they slew the giant rock monster when his sacrifice tendency got the better part of him. helping the Queens of Duren, Harrow didn't think Viren would go back because he talked so much about acceptable losses, yet, he himself couldn't hold himself to help the people in need when he could do it.

It was Harrow's idea in the first place to help the people of Duren. He was blinded by his own morality and wish to help fellow humans and share in their suffering. If he hadn’t acted so impulsively in trying to be a good king, if he was the one who went back to help the queens, he wouldn’t have lost Sarai, maybe he could trade his place with Sarai, Sarai would have survived, his children would still have their mother, it should have been him, so Harrow didn’t want to lose Viren now, not when he could prevent it.

So he hurt Viren’s pride, shut his idea like it meant nothing, spit on his words and poured poison in every syllable he said to his dear friend, telling him he was only a servant to this kingdom, that his place is nowhere else except on his knees in front of his king.

Viren bowed his head in front of him, didn’t get the chance to voice out his plan because Harrow already knew what he would say.

For one splendid moment Harrow imagined what it would be like to be inside of Viren in spirit and Viren inside of him. It would be enjoyable, thrilling by it even, to know how it felt when he breathed, the flowing of his blood in his veins, the contraction of his lungs. And beyond that, the softness of his heart and the intensity of his determination and the devotion. Harrow would be honored to live his life even for a moment inside of his friend. But he also could see Viren’s spirit, dying with a blade pierced through his chest inside of Harrow's body, departed from this earth. He could see himself scream, holding that body tightly, wishing he hadn’t taken that offer and regretting his life.

What would the meaning of his life be then? If he couldn’t even protect what he could protect. Harrow would not live like that, he couldn’t, and Viren was too stubborn to see it. Yet of all people, Viren should be the one to understand best. Just as Viren could never let Harrow die, Harrow couldn’t bear to do the same for him.

Harrow fought the urge to stroke his mage’s hair, to say Viren done great work for his country, that his service has brought Katolis a golden age. Harrow wanted to tell him that Katolis owed him so much and that his king would always praise his efforts and sacrifices.

Viren struggled to stay still. His bad knee was catching up to him and his position was difficult to maintain. Nonetheless, he gladly endures it if it pleased his king if it offered any prayer of would making Harrow change his mind.

Viren raised his eyes, looking at Harrow standing tall in front of him. The rage a while ago when his beautiful king asked him where exactly was his place with all his authority voice putting him at his place, Viren could hear that his king didn’t really mean what he says and now that eyes show only tiredness and defeat.

_Oh, my king, why are you so stubborn? Can’t you see that the lives of a thousand men in the kingdom weigh nothing compared to yours? You should live a thousand years, reigning in your kingdom, being worshipped by your people because you serve them with all your soul, oh my benevolent King._

Harrow offered his hand and Hesitantly Viren reaches for it, letting Harrow help him to his feet again.

“I didn’t know you would actually be on your knees for me,” Harrow said as he led Viren to sit on his bed again.

“What would I do except that? You know I would do anything for you, including trading my life for yours.” The words struck Harrow's spirit like a blow, even though he already knew that eventually, his devoted mage would say his intention when he stormed back into his room with the serpent basket in his hand, but hearing it makes harrow felt the guilt for asking that of him, to force him to prove himself to that extend.

“I would do everything you ask of me, I would have kissed the ground you walk on if you want me to, and never regret anything. I am glad that I was born as your servant. I rejoice in serving you, truly I do. I would never change a thing even if I were to be born again. I would always wish to be this Viren, the one who serves you.” The sincerity in Viren’s voice was undeniable. Harrow felt as though every word pierced through his skin, tingling nerves and reaching places he had never realized words alone could touch.

He didn’t know how to respond to that, hearing Viren’s clear declaration of the devotion he usually only showed thru his actions. Harrow could always feel it, yet he never trusted those feelings completely. He was afraid to believe that someone could devote his whole life to him this way, but he listened as Viren voiced it all like a vow, like a prayer he chanted every day, if only in his heart. Harrow responded the only way he knew how, with humour, hiding the tremor he felt in his bones.

“didn’t even want to be born again perhaps as Sarai? You could be my Queen you know” Harrow said light-heartedly, let out a small chuckle because he didn’t dare to hear more words from Viren because Harrow himself is at the brink of breaking and he couldn't do that, he has to be the strong one here.

“Why would I wish for that? She could never have the chance to love you as I have.” There was a profound sadness in his words, so distinct that Harrow felt like it was from a lifetime ago, like they had had this conversation in another life, with the same bitter result.

“What way?” Harrow fidgeted in his bed. He wanted to see Viren’s eyes but he was too weak to do so. As time went by, he felt like this conversation would only bring him more sorrow. He should not have spoken the words that tormented Viren and grievously wounded Harrow’s own heart.

“You have called me many names, Harrow. What's good to be merely your queen when I can be your everything, your brother, your lover, your ex, your advisor, your high mage, your friend, your ….servant... You stepped on me when you needed a ladder to your horse when we were kids. You used me as your shield for your conscience about dark magic when it was our, no, your people that benefited from it!” Viren spoke frantically, almost shouting, then paused, drawing inward, and continued in a lower, acrid tone. 

“You take me for granted, Your Majesty. I dirty these hands so your hands can be clean. I darken my soul so yours will always shine. I am willing to do anything, Harrow, but the one thing I can’t do is lose you! Don’t you understand?” This time Viren couldn’t hold his tears anymore, so he gripped Harrow’s armor to pull him closer, but the king didn’t move. Frustrated and tired, defeated, hurt, and weak, Viren laid his head on Harrow’s chest instead.

Harrow felt the words like a poison, not because Viren said it to mock him, but because he said it like he believed that was all of his value for Harrow. How had he turned into someone who hurt his beloved so deeply? He had failed as a friend, and as a king.

“Please don’t cry.” Harrow circled his hands on Viren’s back, moving closer on the bed to settle Viren more comfortably in his arms, but Viren didn’t stop. He didn’t cry often, even during their quarrels when they were younger, so Harrow was at a loss. Every sob felt like a dagger in his chest, and every hitching breath strained the air from his lungs. 

“Hush... I don’t want the last thing that I hear when I die is you crying, ” he pleaded. That was the wrong thing to say because Viren sobbed louder, shaking in his arms.

“I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want that, I don’t… I can’t...” Viren repeated desperately.

Harrow kissed his mage’s ear, whispering "Let me go. I have to pay the price of the choices I've made in the past." Viren hated what Harrow was doing, distracting him from his sorrow, but his body betrayed him, welcoming the familiar touch. He tilted his head, letting Harrow's lips explore his neck. He stared up at the ceiling of Harrow's chamber, fixing his gaze on the candle fire. 

To Viren’s tired, unfocused eyes, the dancing flames seemed to reveal moments from their shared past. It warmed his heart to recall hours and days spent running around barefoot in the woods, searching for rabbits, without any weighty decisions to make, or any sorrow knocking at their door. They never worried about death then, nor debts to be paid with life or soul. The sweet memories worsened the pain of this sacrifice and sad farewell.

The sharp sensation of Harrow's teeth on his shoulderblade pulled Viren's mind back to the present. A groan of mixed pain and pleasure was shocked out of him before he could suppress it. He dragged Viren’s collar to the side to expose more of his skin. It was harder than he expected, fighting the intricately layered clothes Viren always wore in role as High Mage. Harrow never complained Viren’s robes covering so much because part of him didn't want anyone to see what belonged to him alone, but he hated the garments in this moment.

"How can you do this at a time like this?" Viren gripped Harrow's hair, preventing him from seeking skin to lick, kiss or bite further. Instead of letting go, Harrow held him tighter, ignoring the painful grip on his hair. The king was pleased with his success, his mage’s desolate sobs replaced with muffled moans of pleasure.

It had been some time since they had been this intimate. Harrow had had too much on his mind since a rumour about the moonshadow elf assassins seeking revenge reached his ears. It had been difficult for Harrow to even hug him, focused as his king was in thoughts reevaluating his past choices. Viren hadn’t pressed the issue, since he was also weary and worrying himself to sleep, trying to find a way to prevent the inevitable.

Yet the inevitable is a moment away from knocking their door.

"You easily give up your life like it means nothing! Why are you giving up hope?" Viren let his hands fall at his sides, no longer struggling. If Harrow wouldn’t listen to his protest, he would let him do whatever he wanted.

Harrow ceased his advances when he received no reaction anymore. He laid his tired head on Viren's shoulder, breathing in his sweet scent. Harrow inhaled more deeply, relishing the traces of lavender and rose. He loved the scent Viren wore, finding it sensual yet calming. It put him at ease, wafting away other thoughts, while also arousing him like a mating call, like he was ready to be savored anywhere Harrow might want.

"Says the one who was ready to give up his life for me." Harrow smiles bitterly before continuing "I am ashamed to hope; I can't hope for something that doesn't exist. Sooner or later I have to pay my debt and I choose to do it now. If I could protect my kingdom from Xadia’s wrath, I would die a hundred times to do it. Viren, protect the kingdom in my absence. Until my sons grow up, you can protect them for me, I know you can, please." He traced Viren’s fingers with his own, slowly interlocked them together, brought them to his lips, and kissed them tenderly.

"You won’t let me die for you, but how can I live with your decision? How can you expect me to go on without you? That's why I couldn't understand why you didn't let me swap your spirit with the serpent. There is exactly a way out to this but your stubbornness always stands in the way of the greater good!" Viren stood abruptly. He had hoped they might have reached something from this conversation but they just went in circle.

"That's what makes us always in disagreement. Other lives mean nothing to you compared to someone you care about. You always have a creative solution with your dark magic, but I am tired Viren; I don't know what's wrong and right to do anymore. I didn't want to cheat death like that, knowing it will bring nothing good to this kingdom. Let them have their revenge, and perhaps it will stop them from doing anything else. Let me die with honor." He put his head in his hands, not knowing how to make Viren understand.

Before they could argue further, they heard footsteps, followed by Soren and Callum’s voices. Harrow looked at the door but made no move to rise. He didn't have the strength to face his stepson, having already accepted his own death, but not the pain and shame of leaving his children behind.

"I can talk to him and make him leave this place, since it’s too dangerous for him to be here right now," Viren offered. Harrow gave him a small nod. Viren reached for his staff, fixing his disheveled clothes and headed for the door to face the prince.

It shouldn’t be hard to scare the boy away, he thought. It wouldn’t be an unpleasant task since he never cared for the child, nor for anyone else who diverted Harrow's attention.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think guys about this fic.


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